


Dazed and Confused

by LarrysDiamonds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2151252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarrysDiamonds/pseuds/LarrysDiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is your typical ladies man. He and Cas meet in a sketching class at college, and Dean starts to have some feelings that he's never felt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so this is my first Destiel fic, and only my second fic ever. Also, this is the first time I have ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it's not very good! I'm not sure how long this is going to be yet, it was going to be a one shot but I decided to make it chaptered. Anyways, bear with me as I try to figure this all out, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Oh, and the songs in the chapter are Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC and Over the Hills and Far Away by Led Zeppelin, if you like a playlist to go along with your fic :)
> 
> (also, the title is a Led Zeppelin song. Just in case you were wondering)

"Man, are you seriously going to do this?" Sam Winchester had a devious smile on his face. Leave it to his annoying little brother to make Dean even more uncomfortable and nervous than he already was. 

"Sammy, I've told you a thousand times. The pay is fucking ridiculous," Dean was right. $20 an hour to stand there and basically do nothing. "Working at a bar don't exactly pay the bills. What with the apartment, school, guitars... shit man, I barely have money for food!"

"Well I suppose, what with the copious amounts of food you eat," Sam chuckled. Teasing Dean was a little too fun. "But seriously man? Posing for a sketching class?  _Nude?_ I think there are other ways you could come up with the money."

"Well, Sammy, if you can find me a job where I don't have to do shit and get paid $20 an hour, you let me know." Dean clapped his hand on Sam's shoulder a little harder than he had meant to. Damn kid deserved it, anyways.

"Ouch!" Sam laughed, "no need to get abusive."

"Yeah, whatever. Just pick up some food for me. I have to go in now." Sam nodded and Dean was about to walk in the door, but quickly turned around. "Don't forget the pie, Sammy!"

"Dean, when have I ever forgot the pie?" Sam waved goodbye and Dean walked into the classroom. There were approximately 20 students in the room. A few were in small groups chatting quietly while others were at their easels organizing their pencils and other drawing utensils. Dean scanned the room looking for anyone he knew. He breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't recognize anyone, but then his breath hitched in his throat. In the front row students was possibly the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. His hair was extremely dark, yet not black. There were a few spots in which it stuck out, giving the man a disheveled look. His nose was perfectly sculpted, his lips soft and full. Dean's eyes lingered on the man's lips longer than he would like to admit. The most stunning thing about this stranger, however, were his eyes. Even from a few yards away, Dean saw their vastness. They were the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen in his life. He could liken them only to the ocean after a storm; dark and mysterious, yet warm and and gentle. Dean shook himself. What was he doing? This was a  _man._ He was  _Dean._ Casa Erotica watching, Busty Asian Beauties reading, lady killer Dean. He had never even looked twice at a guy, yet he couldn't ignore the butterflies in his stomach.

No. This was insane. Dean walked over to the changing room, and closed the door. "Breathe. Breathe, you son of a bitch." Dean had his hands on the wall on either side of his head. He brought his eyes up to the mirror. His cheeks were flushed, eyes glazed over with tears. What in the hell was going on? Dean didn't have time to find an answer. 

"Excuse me, Dan?" a voice outside the door sighed, laced in annoyance. "We have to start class. We're five minutes behind schedule." 

"It's Dean," if this guy wanted attitude, Dean could give him attitude. "and can I have like two minutes, please? I just got here." 

"Yes. Please be swift." Swift? Who the hell even talked like that? Dean shook his head and began undressing. After he had thrown his clothing into a pile in the corner of the room--fuck folding--he gingerly slipped into the thin cotton robe hanging on the back of the door. It really did not leave much to the imagination, he realized. Then again, we was about to get naked in front of a group of strangers. He supposed there was no need for modesty. 

As he stepped out of the dressing room (or, undressing room, rather,) he was met by 20 pairs of eyes.  _Way to make a guy feel welcome._ _Give him the old stare down._ As Dean stepped onto the platform, his hands began to sweat. He hadn't know just how nervous he was until he was in front of everyone, about to disrobe. Immediately his eyes locked with the stranger. His gaze lingered until the crabby man from before told him to take off his robe. His eyes dropped, in turn dropping eye contact with the man. He couldn't bring himself to look back up after he had untied the belt and discarded the thin article of clothing to the side.  _  
_

"Stand naturally, with your arms at your sides. Legs shoulder width apart, and look off to the right. Yes, perfect. Now, hold this pose until you are told otherwise." Dean did as he was told, thankful that his first pose wasn't some crazy, standing-on-one-leg yoga pose. Yet still, he felt infinitely uncomfortable. Thank god he hadn't been told to look forward, or he would have had no way to avoid the stranger's gaze.

* * *

Castiel heard his instructor speak to the man, but didn't hear a word he said. From the moment the model had walked into the room, Cas was taken. The man was tall, maybe about six foot. His light brown hair had been gelled in such an effortless way, and his forrest green eyes shone brightly even in the florescent lights of the classroom. His muscles bulged as he walked, but not in the gross, body builder sort of way. He was perfectly built, with the suggestion of a six pack and well toned arms. When the man had dropped his robe, Castiel had to swallow a moan. His dick was at least 6 inches long, if not more. Uncut, he noticed, unlike his own. The tip was a delicious pink, not too different than the color of the man's lips.  _Fuck._ How was he supposed to accomplish anything when this piece of art was standing in front of him? Cas thought he would be able to handle the class, what with the fact that he wasn't some horny teenager. But now, he couldn't ignore the fact that his own cock was pressing against his jeans. Castiel swallowed loudly and began to sketch, his hands shaking slightly. Each time he looked up, he grazed his eyes slowly over every inch of the model, biting his lips each time to stifle the sighs desperately aching to escape his mouth.  _What have you gotten yourself into, Cas._

* * *

As Dean stepped off the platform and quickly grabbed his robe, he looked for the man in the crowd of students. He couldn't seem to find him. Just as well, he thought. He was not about to go through some "college experimenting" phase. 

After he had put his clothes back on, Dean left the classroom and began walking towards his apartment. He was glad the class was over. 3 hours of standing naked in front of a bunch of people he didn't know. Not exactly his favorite pastime. He was stopped when he felt a hand on the back of his shoulder. He jerked around, alarmed at the sudden touch. He hadn't even heard anyone walking behind him. "What the f--" He was stopped mid sentence as he locked eyes with the man from the classroom. His heartbeat quickened as he wondered why in the hell he was even here. 

"Um, sorry, you uh, forgot your keys," The man said, seeming almost embarrassed. 

"Oh, well, thanks," Dean hesitantly took the keys from his hand, suspiciously eyeing him. He hoped he wasn't coming across as a dick. His nervousness sometimes came off that way. 

"No problem," the man was rubbing the back of his neck, looking at the ground. "Oh, my name's Castiel by the way."

"Castiel?" Dean scoffed.  _Shit. That sounded dickish._ "Uh, unique name. I'm Dean. Dean Winchester." 

"Yeah, my parents...they're kinda weird. I don't know if bible thumper is the right word, but Castiel was an angel of the Lord, I'm sorry. This is a really weird conversation to be having with a stranger," Castiel laughed nervously, still not yet gaining the confidence to look Dean in the eyes. "Anyways, nice to meet you, Dean," a shy smiled formed on Castiel's face.

"Nah, it's alright. That kind of a name deserves an explanation." Dean shifted on his feet awkwardly. He'd really been hoping to avoid this. The whole, "holy shit I'm super attracted to this guy and I've never been attracted to a guy before" thing. "Hey man, can I at least buy you a drink or something for the trouble?"  _Dammit. I'm trying to avoid this guy. Why the hell did I just ask that._

Castiel's eyes lit up at the invitation. "Yeah, of course! I mean, yeah, sure. I don't think I have anything going on tonight." Cas cringed at himself. Way to play it cool, he thought.

Dean chuckled lightly at his enthusiasm. "Alright, I'll take you down to Drew's. Best damn hot wings east of the Mississippi." He couldn't ignore the fact that he was nervous as all hell taking this guy out. Sure, it wasn't really a date, but the fact that some part of Dean wanted it to be freaked him out.

"Great, is it very far?" Cas didn't mind walking, but it was getting to be pretty chilly and he had forgotten his jacket in his room. 

"About ten minutes away, but I can drive. My car is parked about a block from here." Dean letting a stranger in his car? This was almost unheard of. 

As they walked up to the car, Cas let out a low whistle. The 1967 Chevy Impala was beautiful. Mint condition, black exterior shining in the soft light of dusk. 

"Ain't she a beauty?" Dean rubbed his hand lovingly on the hood. "Got her from my dad when I turned 18. She's been in the family ever since I can remember." Dean crossed over to the driver's seat and got in the car. As he started the engine, he noticed Cas standing outside the passenger door. "You can get in, you know."

"Oh," Cas said quietly as he opened the door and got in the seat. Dean could tell that Castiel was nervous. Dean hid behind his nervousness and masked it with sarcasm and cockiness. That was probably part of the reason why he came off as such a dick sometimes.

Dean reached to turn on the radio and AC/DC immediately filled the car. He was tapping along to the beat on his steering wheel when Cas began to speak. 

"So, classic rock fan?" Dean nodded. 

"Nothing better. Grew up on it. I guess that's a big part of why I decided to be a music major. There was always something so appealing about being on the road, seeing new places, getting chicks," Dean cut off after that. What with the recent happenings from that day, he didn't know if it was just the chicks he would be trying to get. He didn't want to think about that, though, so he stopped talking. He noticed Cas had looked down after he'd said that.

After a few moments, Cas laughed half heartedly and agreed with him. "Always been a fan myself. Of course my parents had none of that. It was always gospel or classical music around them. I swear to god I grew up in the damn Footloose town. Had to hide my CDs from them and everything." Dean laughed at that.

As they pulled up to the bar, a wave of fear washed over Dean. Why had he asked Castiel out for a drink? He had no idea who this guy was. Also he was pretty sure he was going to have to hide his damn bulge for the rest of the night. How could someone be so beautiful yet so masculine and fucking  _hot_ all at once?

They sat down at a booth inside Drew's and Dean ordered two beers. They began talking about their majors. Cas was going to school to become an art professor. He explained that he'd always liked painting the most, but sometimes dabbled in sketching. He'd blushed at that, considering sketching had led him to seeing Dean naked for three hours. Dean explained how he had grown up playing guitar and somehow always knew that that was what he wanted to do. He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to make a living off of it, but he would try to make it work. 

After a few more beers they started to talk about their families. Dean's dad was a mechanic, and his mother had died when he was four years old in a tragic house fire. He talked about his brother Sam, and how he annoyed the hell out of him but he loved him to death. Sam was going to school to become a lawyer, and Dean was so proud of him. 

Cas was a bit more hesitant to talk about his family life. He told Dean again how his parents were very religious, and how he had strayed from the church years ago. He had two brothers, Michael and Gabriel, both older than him. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and picked at the label on his beer bottle before he began to speak again.

"I don't talk to them anymore," he said flatly, with just a hint of sadness behind it. Dean didn't know how to respond. "It's because I, uh... I came out to them. My senior year of high school. I hadn't really meant to. It kinda just slipped out." Dean watched his face, tears brimming at his impossibly blue eyes. "Anyway. There was a lot of yelling and crying and whatever. And it all ended with me being kicked out of the house indefinitely."

"Shit, man..." Dean wasn't good at comforting people. He never had been. He wanted to reach over the table and run his hand through Castiel's hair. But he couldn't do that.

Cas rubbed his eyes and sniffled softly. "Yeah, well. Everyone's got shit to deal with I guess." Dean looked over at Cas sadly, wishing he could caress him and kiss his tears away.

What? What was happening to him? He'd never even felt like that about a _girl,_ let alone some random guy he'd just met. Dean put his head in his hands and sighed loudly. He really was not feeling well.

After two more rounds they had all but forgotten about Cas' family and Dean had stopped thinking about his trepidations regarding his feelings towards Cas. They were laughing hysterically at some stupid story Dean had told. Cas was near tears from the laughter and had to wipe his eyes. Dean looked over at him fondly. The alcohol in his system was making him sappy. He rested his head on his fist and just looked at Cas, smiling.

"Hey, do you want to come back to my place?" Cas' question suddenly shook Dean from his state of dreaming. "I've got some CDs I think you might like."

Dean felt his heart start to race and his palms break out in a sweat. Of course, he wanted to go back to Cas' place. He wanted nothing more than that. But Cas was a _guy._ And shit if that didn't make him scared. He knew Cas was gay, or maybe bisexual. He hadn't said. But Dean didn't even know what  _he_ was. Still, he could listen to a few CDs. What was the harm in that?

"Yeah, sure. We should probably call a cab or something though, I don't think I'm up to driving."

When the taxi showed up at the bar, both men got into the back seat. They were both drunk, but still managed to tell the driver where to take them. As they were talking (a bit loudly, considering they were sitting right next to each other,) Cas placed a hand on Dean's thigh. Dean tensed underneath the touch, but Cas didn't notice. He kept his hand in the same place for the remainder of the ride.

As they stumbled up to Cas' apartment, giggling and tripping over their own feet, Dean noticed that it was a nice place. Cas' family must be pretty well off, considering Cas was in college and could afford a place like this. 

When Cas opened the door to his place, Dean's eyes widened. The living room, which was the first thing he saw, was huge. There was a 50 inch flatscreen TV hanging on the wall in front of a black leather couch that looked to be just about the most comfortable thing he had ever seen in his life. The kitchen was all white, with dark granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. Dean let out a low whistle as he took in the space. "Damn Cas, this is quite the spread you've got."

Cas snorted and threw his keys on the counter, making his way over to the very expensive looking sound system to the right of the TV. He put in a CD and Led Zeppelin began playing through the speakers. Dean began subconsciously bobbing his head to the music while checking out the rest of the apartment, knocking into a few chairs on the way in his inebriated state. 

After listening to a few mix CDs, Cas asked if Dean wanted to watch a movie. By now it was 12AM and Dean was tired, but he agreed. Castiel picked out a movie and placed it in the DVD player.

"Hope you like Lord of the Rings." Dean's mouth hung open. 

"Dude. It's like, my favorite movie ever." Dean tended to take on a valley girl inflection when he was drunk. He had sprawled one leg down the side of the couch and hung the other over the edge, leaning against the arm rest. Cas bounded over to the couch and plopped down right in between Dean's legs, resting his back against Dean's chest. Dean went rigid, suddenly uncomfortable by the closeness. Cas didn't move. Apparently he was a bit more uninhibited with alcohol in his bloodstream. 

Halfway through the movie, Dean shifted underneath Cas. Cas immediately rested his head in the crook of Dean's neck, adjusting to the movement. Dean looked down at the man. Was this really happening? Was Dean  _cuddling_ with someone? Was Dean cuddling with a  _guy?_

"Cas," Dean spoke softly, as if unsure of his words. 

Castiel sat up and turned around to look at Dean. Dean suddenly craved the closeness, wishing Cas was against him. 

"Yeah?" Castiel said, slurring the word slightly, still drunk. He look at Dean's face, eyes dropping to his mouth. He licked his lips slowly as he watch Dean, taking in every bit of him.

"Um, I've never... I've never, like, been, with a guy. I've never even _wanted_ to be with a guy. But then today, in the class, I just, I saw you, and..." Dean trailed off, looking into Cas' eyes. "And fuck, Cas. I've never felt how I feel about you with anyone."

Cas stared at him intently, only ever breaking eye contact to look at his lips. God, did he want to taste those lips. 

After a few moments, he leaned forward, stopping when Dean's face was only an inch from his own. 

"Cas," Dean breathed, eyelashes fluttering with lust and drunkenness. "I--" but Cas cut him off before he could finish. His lips found their way to Dean's, first kissing him slowly and gently. Dean sighed into the kiss, moving his hands up to run them through Cas' hair. Cas deepened the kiss, opening his mouth and licking his way into Dean's. Dean complied and parted his lips, moaning as Cas explored his mouth with his tongue. Dean felt his erection growing and suddenly Cas' hand was on his groin, palming him through the thick fabric of his jeans. Cas moved his mouth down to Dean's neck, sucking and licking at the skin. Dean's breath hitched in his throat as Cas began unzipping his pants. He could see now that Cas was hard, too, and the overwhelming feeling of wanting to taste Cas made him groan. He gasped as Cas took him in his hand, never breaking the kiss. Dean was already hard, and Cas began stroking up and down the shaft, his other hand up Dean's shirt, feeling his muscular frame. 

"Fuck Cas," Dean said under his struggled breath. At that Cas had lowered his head, Dean alarmed by the loss of contact. 

"What are you--" Castiel took Dean into his mouth and Dean moaned loudly. Cas sucked at his uncut head, lifting up the foreskin to reveal the flushed pink underneath. Precum dripped down Dean's cock and Cas tongued at the slit. Dean was a mess underneath him. It wasn't as if he'd never been blown before, but Cas was just so fucking  _good_ at it. He ran his tongue along the underside of Dean's dick from his balls to the tip and Dead shuddered. Castiel looked him in the eyes as he took the first few inches of Dean in his mouth. Dean grabbed at Cas' hair and bucked his hips slightly, wanting more. Cas got the hint and took more of Dean, hollowing his cheeks and swallowing Dean down. 

Dean was a mess. His brain was fuzzy from the alcohol and his cheeks were flushed and hot, but he knew this felt good. He knew he wanted this. He knew he wanted Cas. He looked under hooded eyes to the man, bobbing his head, trying to take all of Dean, a considerable task considering the size of Dean's cock. 

"Cas. Look at me," his voice raspy and burning with desire. Castiel looked into Dean's piercing green eyes, currently glazed over from arousal. He kept eye contact with Dean as he sucked him off, almost his whole dick inside his mouth now. Dean was close. He was moaning and thrusting into Cas' mouth furiously, on the edge of orgasm. 

"Are you going to cum for me?" Cas slurred, taking Dean in his hand and pumping in rhythm with his hips grinding onto Dean's thigh.

"So close, Cas, 'm so close," Dean threw his head back and closed his eyes, panting and falling apart in Cas' hands.

Cas unzipped his jeans and took out his own dick. He was already close himself, just from watching Dean. He took them both in his hand and began stroking, gradually increasing his speed. They were both moaning in between sloppy kisses. 

"Fuck, Cas, I'm gonna, I'm go--" and suddenly Dean came, spilling his cum on Cas' hand and dick. Cas was close behind him, groaning as he reached his climax. They panted as they rode out their orgasms, and Cas collapsed onto Dean's shoulder from exhaustion. 

"Oh my god. Shit." Dean said as he regained his breath. "Jesus, Cas, that was amazing."

Cas laughed, "You know, I don't usually put out on the first date."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I have this week off so I have a lot of time to write. So, here's the second chapter! The Def Leppard song that Dean is listening to at Sam's is "Photograph." The lyrics are kindof important, so I will put a link to the lyrics here --> http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/defleppard/photograph.html
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Dean awoke with a pounding headache. It seemed as though his whole body had dry mouth. How may beers had he had last night? Eight? More? Then, of course, there were the tequila shots...shit. He knew tequila fucked him up.

As he opened his eyes, he sat up with a start. Where was he? The Lord of the Rings title sequence was playing on repeat on the huge television in front of him. He looked down and saw the man tangled in between his legs, head resting on his chest.  _Fuck._ Last night came flooding back to him. The sketch class, the drinking, the...whatever the hell you could call what he and Cas had done. He didn't think it was sex. Thank god he hadn't gone that far. He groaned and rubbed at his throbbing temples. He really needed an aspirin. 

Cas began to shift on top of him. What was he supposed to say to the guy? That it had been a drunken mistake, that he didn't mean anything he'd said?

But it hadn't been a mistake. He had enjoyed every fucking minute of last night. And he had meant what he said. He really had never been attracted to a guy. That is, before he saw Cas. 

Dean exhaled loudly, and Cas slowly began to open his eyes, hair matted down on the side that had been pressed against Dean's own body. Cas smiled as he rubbed his eyes. 

"Good morning, Dean," Cas said, his voice hoarse with the after effects of hangover. He moved his hand up to cup Dean's face, but Dean jerked back. Cas frowned as he looked into Dean's eyes, as if searching for some kind of answer.

"Uh, yeah, hey, look. I gotta... I gotta get back to my place to um, get ready for class and stuff." Dean looked at his watch. 11:30. He had already missed his morning lecture, the only one for that day. Cas looked down at his hands, letting out a huff. 

"Yeah man, I get it. Last night was a mistake. Sorry to have kept you from your work." Cas stood up from the couch, wobbling slightly as he grabbed his head. He never had been able to handle his liquor well. "Just uh, don't forget your keys." Dean sensed the sadness in Castiel's voice as he was reminded of how they had ended up together last night.  _Damn keys._

Dean walked towards the door, making sure he had all of his belongings. He knew he had hurt Cas. He should tell him that it wasn't a mistake. That all he wanted to do was stay here and hold Cas all day while they watched movies. But no, he couldn't do that. He wasn't gay. He knew he wasn't.

"Okay, well I'll, maybe I'll see you around," Cas looked up at Dean hopefully, and Dean lowered his eyes, grabbing for the door handle and turning it. 

"Dean, wait," Cas was walking towards the door, reaching out for Dean. He grabbed him by his wrist, Dean tensing at the touch. "Can I at least put my number in your phone?" 

"I think I left it in my car," Dean said, as he felt the weight of his phone in his pocket. Why was he lying to the man? Would having his number really hurt anything?

"Oh," Cas looked at Dean's pocket, seeing the outline of the phone. Anger at the lie surged through Cas, "I get it. Just go." Tears pricked at the back of his eyes, turning around so as not to be seen. He heard the door close behind Dean, and he waited 10 seconds before the tears left his eyes. He sank to the ground, resting on his knees, sobs rocking through him. How could he have been so stupid? He never put out on the first date. No, it hadn't even been a date. Cas was just returning Dean's keys, and it turned into a whole night of regret. Cas stood up and walked over to the bathroom, vision blurred from his hot tears. As he entered the bathroom, he turned on the water in the shower. He slowly peeled off his clothes, looking in the mirror at himself. Jesus Christ, he looked like shit. He was thankful for the steam beginning to fill the bathroom, blocking his view of his red, puffy eyes and his matted hair. As he stepped into the shower, he began to cry again. He had forgotten to remove his socks.

* * *

Dean stood outside the door, hearing the man's sobs. He put his back to the door and slumped down to the floor, tears spilling over his own eyes. He put his head in his hands and silently cried, hoping no one would walk down the hallway and see him.

* * *

It had been five days since Cas and Dean met. They had each gone back to their regular lives, albeit slowly. Cas returned to his sketch class two days after that night, disappointed to see that Dean was no longer modeling. He didn't know why he had expected him to, but there was still a bit of hopefulness, even nervousness, as he had walked into the classroom. Unfortunately, there was a too-tan blonde man up on the platform. Sure, he was attractive, but looking at him as he sketched, all Cas could think about was Dean. The perfect lines of his body, his emerald green eyes that darkened with lust, those beautiful lips...

Cas' thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his classmates packing up. He looked at his sketch pad, seeing that all he had drawn was the model's arm. He sighed as he gathered his pencils, trying to understand how he had spent the better part of three hours just thinking about Dean. He couldn't help but wonder if Dean was thinking about him.

* * *

Dean was at Sam's dorm lying on the bed listening to Def Leppard. As he began listening to the lyrics, he couldn't help but think of Castiel. He switched the song.

"Dean, what has been up with you lately?" Sam walked out of the bathroom having just taken a shower, towel wrapped around his waist.

"Jesus, Sammy, do you have to come out here half naked?" Dean scrunched up his nose at seeing his little brother so exposed. Since when did Sam get that 6 pack? He would have to start working out more. 

"Yeah, ok, Mr. Nude Model," Sam giggled at his joke, but stopped when he saw Dean's face fall. "Hey, how did that go, by the way?"

"I don't know, Sammy, how would you feel with a bunch of strangers looking at your dick for 3 hours?" There he went again, hiding behind his sarcasm.

"Alright, alright. Calm down, buttercup." Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's pet name. He knew he hated that.

"Bitch," Dean said under his breath. 

"Jerk," Sam replied easily. He changed into sweatpants and a loose tshirt. "But seriously, Dean. You've been kinda... off, since the class. Did something happen?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably in the bed, tugging at a loose thread on the hem of his shirt. "Nothing really. I went out for drinks with one of the students afterwards."

"And...?" Sam eyed his brother suspiciously. He could tell when he was lying, or at least not telling the whole truth.

"And then I went back to their place," Dean didn't look at his brother.

"What did you  _do_ at this girl's place?" Sam had a twinkle in his eye. He could easily make assumptions as to what happened. Dean was quite the ladies' man, after all.

"We um, I don't really know what to call it." Dean finally looked up at Sam, a flush growing on his neck. "Sammy, it, it was a guy."

Sam spun around from where he was standing. "It was a  _what?_ " Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was pretty sure Dean was the most straight person he had ever met. He'd had a girl on his arm since he was 5 years old, for god's sake.

"It was a guy, ok? I was drunk. If I had another beer I'm pretty sure I would have died from alcohol poisoning. It was--" the words were on the tip of his tongue.  _Just tell him it was a mistake._ But it wasn't. And Dean couldn't lie to Sam. He never had been able to. 

"It was what?" Sam spoke softly, not wanting to scare Dean out of telling him. He slowly sat down next to his older brother on the bed, watching him as he tried to find the words to say.

"It was great, Sam. I don't think I've ever felt like that about anyone. And whatever it was we did... Jesus, Sam, it was  _awesome._ " Sam closed his eyes and put up a hand to stop Dean. 

"Okay, man. I don't need to know all the dirty details." Dean let out a small laugh as he looked up sheepishly at his brother.

"So, what do you think?" Dean's hands were shaking slightly, and he ran his palms down his jeans. 

"I think, that I have never seen you so torn up about anyone in your life. With all your other, love interests," Sam hesitated at his use of the term. He didn't really know what to call the girls Dean hooked up with, "you dumped them without a second thought. But with this guy..." he trailed off. He didn't need to say the words, Dean understood.

"But what about the fact that, oh I don't know, he's a fucking  _guy?_ " Dean needed Sam's opinion. He didn't know what to think about it himself. 

"Dude, as long as you're happy, I don't think it matters." Sam smiled softly at his brother, seeing him perk up at Sam's words.

"Really? You think it's ok?"

"Of course, man. So why don't you call--" Sam cut off. He realized he didn't even know this guy's name. 

"Castiel," Dean said, looking at the surprised look on his brother's face. "Religious parents. Angel of the Lord or some crap."

"Ah," Sam responded to the explanation. "Alright. So call the guy. Right now. I don't trust you enough to call him without me here."

"I would, problem is, I don't have his number." 

Sam scoffed at his brother, shaking his head lightly. "So you hook up with the guy, and don't even get his phone number? Whatever. We can look it up." Sam opened his laptop and went to whitepages.com, typing "Castiel" into the search bar. Unsurprisingly, only one named came up. "Castiel Novak. (320)555-8675. Give me your phone."

Dean began to take his phone out of his pocket, but stopped. "Hey man, I can do this by myself. I'll call him when I get home. He's probably in class anyway."

"Dean, I swear to god. Give me your phone or I'll call the guy myself and tell him you're in love with him," Sam said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Dammit, Sammy! Fine. I'll call him." Dean cursed under his breath as he slowly typed the number into his phone. He felt his heart begin to race as he hit the "call" button. The phone rang 10 times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" the voice sounded tired.

"Cas? It's uh, it's Dean. Winchester. From the sketch class." There was a pause as no one answered, "Cas?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm here. Uh, why are you calling?" Dean detected something in the man's voice. Surprise? Annoyance? He couldn't tell.

"Oh, good. Okay. I just uh..." Dean was rubbing the back of his neck. He was nervous. He was surprised Cas was even talking to him, considering the terms he'd left on. "I just wanted to say that I was an ass, the way I left and stuff. I should have explained, or stayed, I just freaked out. I didn't know how to handle what I was feeling." Dean heard Cas sigh into the phone.  _Shit._ Was he going to forgive him? He wouldn't blame him if he didn't. Dean spoke quickly before he could let Cas end the conversation. "But, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. Maybe go out to lunch or something? Or you could come to my place. Or I could go to yours. Sorry, I shouldn't invite myself over like that." Dean exhaled as he tried to catch his breath. He couldn't remember the last time he had freaked out this much.

Cas laughed lightly on the other end. "Yeah, Dean, that would be fine. Let's go to your place, I can bring a few movies if you want." Dean was giddy with excitement, a grin spreading across his face. He heard Sam snort from across the room, and threw him is best "shut the fuck up" face. That just made Sam laugh harder.

"Okay, great. Why don't you come around 7 tonight. If that works for you," Dean hesitated slightly, not sure if he should invite him over so soon. His worries were put aside when Cas agreed. Dean gave him the address to his apartment. "Hey, Cas?"

"Yeah, Dean?"

"I'm really excited to see you," Dean said softly, smile detectable in his voice.

"Me too, Dean. I'll see you soon."

* * *

Cas stood outside of Dean's door. It was 6:55, and he had a few minutes to spare. His thoughts began to wander. Why had he agreed to coming over here? Dean had been an ass, after all. For all he knew, he could have just invited him over to humiliate him somehow. After all, Dean was straight. Or at least he assumed he was, and that their night together five days ago had just been a drunken mistake. At least that's the way Dean had made it seem.

It was now 7:03. Cas started to raise his hand up to the door and knocked twice before the third knock was interrupted as the door opened.

"Cas," Dean said, a little breathlessly. He reached out his hand to Cas' shoulder, but stopped before he made contact. After a few moments he dropped it, and laughed. "Come on in," Dean gestured for Cas to follow him into the apartment. The space was small, but cozy. A decently sized brown couch sat up against the wall, a rustic coffee table standing in front of it. A door was open to what seemed to be Dean's bedroom. The walls were covered in posters of rock bands and sports illustrated swimsuit models. Cas scoffed and Dean immediately seemed embarrassed, dropping his eyes to the floor. "Yeah, I've been meaning to take those down one of these days."

Cas was uncomfortable, and shifted on his feet. He quickly changed the subject, "Oh, so I brought a few movies," Cas held up The Godfather, Step Brothers and The Titanic. "I didn't know what you were in the mood for, so I brought a little of everything."

Dean quirked the edge of his mouth into a smirk. "Titanic, huh? Didn't really take you as the romantic type, Cas," Dean winked and Cas blushed. 

"Shut up. Leonardo DiCaprio is a babe,"  _Did you really just say that, Cas?_  

"Fair enough," Dean said with a laugh. "Actually, I haven't seen that one in a while. Let's watch it." Cas looked up and smiled at the suggestion. Dean took the movie from Castiel's hand and placed it in the DVD player. "Hey do you want anything to eat or drink? Are you too cold or too hot?" Dean babbled when he was nervous.

"I'll have a beer if that makes you feel better, thank you," Cas smiled at Dean's nervousness. Dean handed him a beer as he reached the couch. He sat about a foot away from Castiel, not knowing how comfortable they were with each other at this point. 

As the men got more comfortable on the couch, they moved closer to each other. They weren't noticeably close, but Dean had draped his arm over the back of the couch, hand close to Cas' shoulder. As Dean shifted, his knee bumped into Cas'. He tensed at first, but quickly relaxed as he saw that Cas hadn't seemed to mind. It was going well, Dean had expected some big fight or even for it to be awkward, but it wasn't. And it was nice.

* * *

As Kate Winslet let go of Leonardo's hands, in turn letting go of her one true love, Cas' eyes began to water. God damn his soft spot for romantic movies. Dean apparently had noticed, and placed his hand on Cas' shoulder, rubbing small circles into the soft fabric of his shirt. Cas leaned into the touch, looking over at Dean, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he sniffled, wiping his nose. "This happens every fucking time."

"Don't worry, I cried during Marley and Me. In the theater. Not my best moment." Cas smiled at Dean's admission. He hadn't pegged him as a crier. 

Dean's eyes dropped to Cas' lips, eyes darkening. Cas moved closer to Dean, testing the waters. Dean moved his hand to Cas' chest, grasping at the fabric. Cas crawled closer until his body was over Dean's, pushing him into the arm rest. Dean's breathing had quickened, keeping time with his racing heartbeat. He raised his hand to Castiel's face, tipping his chin down until Cas' lips were on his own. Cas closed his eyes slowly, sighing into Dean's mouth. He had been waiting for this moment for five days. He gasped as Dean pushed his tongue into Cas' mouth, desperately trying to taste as much of Cas as he could. Cas moved his hand to the back of Dean's neck, pulling him closer. Dean's hands found their way underneath Cas' shirt, easily tugging it off. Dean could feel Cas' erection against his thigh, and he moved to rub his own against it. Cas moaned at the contact, breathing heavily and grinding his hips into Dean's. Cas hadn't cum in his pants since he was 15, but he wasn't sure he would be able to last long with Dean making those porn worthy noises underneath him. "Dean, Dean, I--"

"It's ok," Dean said breathlessly, not wanting the friction to stop.

After a few more moments of grinding into one another, Cas could tell he was about to lose it. Dean suddenly opened his eyes, as if he had read Cas' mind. His hand reached down to Cas' groin, grabbing at his hard cock. 

"Fuck, Dean, I'm going to, I'm gonnaaahh," Cas moaned at the end of the word, unable to control himself.

"Do it, baby," Dean increased the pressure on Cas' dick, knowing he was close. Cas gasped, screaming Dean's name as he reached his orgasm. He realized that the neighbors would probably be able to hear him through the thin walls, but he didn't care. This felt so fucking good, and he didn't want anything to distract him from Dean.  _Dean._ How had he ended up with this beautiful guy again? He was obviously out of Cas' league. And he was straight. Apparently. Dean unzipped his jeans and pulled his throbbing cock out of his briefs, grasping it and pumping quickly, watching Cas as he came apart above him. Dean came, groaning as he shot ribbons of cum onto Cas' stomach. He let out a whine as he came down from the high, grabbing onto Castiel's arms to steady himself. Cas collapsed onto Dean, body slick with sweat and Dean's cum. He wanted nothing more than to lay there all night, but the cum was beginning to dry, and he needed to clean up. 

"Can you uh, show me where the shower is?" Cas was still slightly out of breath. Dean's eyes were glazed over, and he lazily pointed to a door near the kitchen. Cas kissed the corner of Dean's mouth as he got up, walking shakily towards the bathroom. He turned on the shower and undressed, remembering when he had been crying in his own bathroom only five days before. He smiled now as he stepped into the shower, hot water gliding over his skin. 

He had only been in the shower a few minutes when he heard the door open. A few moments later, a naked Dean stepped in, looking up shyly at Cas. 

Dean grabbed the bar of soap on the ledge of the shower and began to lather it in his hands. He rubbed the suds over Cas' stomach, in the same place he had shot his load earlier. Cas giggled slightly at Dean's touch. "Ticklish, are we?" Dean teased, and Cas' face went hard. 

"No. I am not ticklish. I jus--Dean!" He yelled as Dean poked his sides. Cas tried to twist out of Dean's touch, but it was no use. He and Dean were both laughing, Dean's face softening suddenly as he dropped his arms to wrap them around Cas' waist, placing a kiss on his nose. 

"Well, this turned out much better than last time," Cas said with a giggle. Dean cupped Cas' face in his hand looking deeply into his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that," Dean apologized sincerely. Cas shook his head, "Don't worry about it. I think this made up for it." Cas learned in to kiss Dean softly.

"So," Cas said, "what's next, Step Brothers or The Godfather?" Dean smirked, eyes twinkling, "Whichever ends up with you on top of me."

Cas snorted, looking at the man standing in front of him. How had he gotten so lucky?

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I'm sorry this chapter is pretty late and also rather short, I just really haven't been feeling this fic lately. Honestly, if it weren't for the comment I'd received a few days ago telling me to continue, I may have just stopped it. But, I'm back, and I will try to keep this updated as much as I can. I'm starting school soon so it may be hard, but I will try my best. Please, PLEASE leave me kudos and comments to let me know that you're still interested. Your response means the world to me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and again, sorry for the wait and short chapter!
> 
> ♡

In the days that followed, Dean and Cas were together almost all the time, save for when Dean had work or either of them had class. They mostly ended up at Cas' place, since it was the nicest and biggest, and considering how much they loved movies, they usually preferred the larger of the two televisions. Most of the time, they didn't even make it halfway through the movie they were watching until they ended up making out, which usually led to more. A few times, Cas had waited until Dean had a noticeable bulge, then walked away to do homework. Dean would whine and beg for him to come back, but Cas would just giggle, nose in his books. He loved that he could do that to Dean.

One day, Dean unlocked the door to Cas' apartment (he had been given a key,) and he saw that there were dishes left out on the counter. _That's weird, Cas never leaves stuff out._ "Cas?" he yelled into the empty space. As he walked past the kitchen and living room, he began to panic. Where was Cas? He didn't have class today and always told Dean if he would be home late. He quickened his pace as he made his way towards Cas' bedroom, relieved when he saw the man sitting on his bed. "Oh, Cas, thank god. I didn't--" he stopped mid sentence when he realized Cas was on the phone. His back was turned towards Dean, slouched slightly.

"You know what? Fine. I just don't understand why I have to hear this from you and not Michael." Dean could tell that Cas was angry, and without even seeing his face he knew he had been crying. "Yeah, whatever." Cas hung up the phone, dropping his head to his hands, shoulders shaking from silent sobs. Dean walked over to where Cas was sitting on the bed and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, bringing Cas' head to his chest. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, wetting his shirt with tears. 

"Shh," Dean said softly, gently rocking Cas back and forth in his arms. "It's ok, I've got you." At that, Cas began to cry audibly, voice hitching in his throat as he tried to regain his breath. 

"Michael is getting married, and m-my parents won't let m-me go to the wedding," Cas said unevenly, voice wavering through his sobs. "He, he's my fucking brother for god's sake!" anger returned to Castiel's voice. 

"Baby, baby, calm down. Just breathe. Breathe. Cas, look at me," Dean said, slowly removing his arms from around Castiel's shoulders, and cupping his face in his hands, wiping Cas' tears away with his thumb. "Tell me exactly what they said," Dean said, looking into Cas' eyes.

Cas took a deep breath, trying to subside his tears. "It was my mom. She told me that she doesn't want me there ruining Michael's wedding. And then she said she didn't raise me to be a sinner, and she wasn't about to let a fag into the church. She said not to call Michael, because he didn't want to talk to me." Cas dropped his eyes, playing with his hands. "I mean, I knew things were bad, but I didn't know she hated me so much."

Dean let out a sigh. He couldn't believe a parent would treat their child that way. Anger surged through him as he thought of anyone calling Cas a fag, especially his own mother. "She doesn't hate you, Cas. She's just blinded by her stupid fucking opinions as to what a good, beautiful person you are. I think you need to call Michael. Even if he doesn't want to talk to you, there's really no harm in trying." Dean kissed Cas lightly on the cheek, looking him in the eyes. "You deserve to go to your own brother's wedding." 

Cas let out a breath, returning Dean's gaze. "Why should I go if everyone there is going to hate me? I'll probably just ruin the whole thing."

Dean sighed, looking down at his hands. "If you want, I can come with you. For, you know, moral support or whatever." He spoke softly, not knowing if he was overstepping boundaries. He didn't know what he and Cas were. He knew what Cas meant to him, though.

Castiel looked at Dean, willing him to lift his eyes. He made eye contact with Dean, a small smile spreading over his face. "Would you really do that for me?" the question had a note of hope behind it.

"Course," Dean smiled softly. "Do I have to wear a suit, though?" Dean had never liked suits. He preferred to don vintage tshirts and worn out jeans.

"Not if you don't want to. Of course, I wouldn't mind seeing you in one," Cas said playfully, sniffling through his laughter.

Dean laughed along with Cas, glad at his reaction to Dean's suggestion. "Alright then, you'd better call your brother. And make sure to ask for a plus-one."

* * *

The call with Michael had been awkward. A few factors played into the uncomfortable air of the conversation, including the fact that he and Castiel hadn't spoken in over three years. They had started off with small talk, Michael asking about Castiel's studies, and informing him about how the family was doing. Eventually, Cas got to what he had called for. Evidently, Michael had fully intended to invite his brother to the wedding. He told Cas he had given the invitation to his mother, not knowing Cas' address. Cas felt a pang in his chest. His own mother had taken the invitation and gotten rid of it without telling Michael.  _  
_

By the end of the call, things had been sorted out. Cas was going to the wedding, and was allowed a plus-one. Michael didn't delve into the fact that his brother had someone to bring. He knew what it meant, and he didn't want to make Castiel uncomfortable. They had said their goodbyes, and Cas hung up the phone, and a wave of relief washed over him. His brother wanted him there. 

Castiel walked out of his bedroom over to where Dean was standing in the kitchen. He walked up behind the man and wrapped his arms around his waist, only now noticing the height difference between the two of them, at least a few inches.

He snuggled his head into Dean's back, breathing in the man's scent. He smelled like evergreen trees and fresh laundry. Dean turned around and returned Castiel's embrace, moving his lips to Cas' neck and placing soft kisses along his throat. "How'd it go?" he said, saying the words against Cas' skin.

"Surprisingly well," Cas replied breathily, closing his eyes and leaning into the man's touch, "even got the plus-one."

Dean smiled and moved to kiss Castiel's forehead. "Awesome. Now I just gotta find some decent clothes. Does a Led Zeppelin shirt sound appropriate?"

Cas laughed, opening his eyes, and finding Dean's. "I think we might have to do some shopping, bud."

* * *

"Uh, absolutely not." Dean stepped out of the dressing room in a pink silk shirt and stiff black dress pants. The top two buttons of the shirt had been undone, revealing the man's tanned chest. 

"Oh come on, pink looks great on guys," Cas replied with a smile on his face. He'd picked the shirt out knowing Dean would reject. He liked to tease him.

"Cas, I swear to god. I wear pink when pigs fly." Dean turned around, walking back into the room hurriedly, as if hoping to not be seen by anyone. 

"You know, I hear they're working on the technology for that," Cas called after him, giggling softly.

"Shut up, Cas!" Annoyance laced Dean's voice, and Cas couldn't help but laugh. 

A few minutes later, Dean stepped out of the room in a white button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows loosely. The slim fit charcoal grey dress pants hugged Dean's legs perfectly. Castiel's eyes widened, taking in the sight. "Holy shit," he said, almost as a whisper, "you look..."

"Sexy, I know," Dean said with a cocky smile on his face, he turned around to face the mirror and examine the outfit. "I gotta say, Cas, you did a good job with this one. I look like a damn Disney prince!" As Dean walked back towards the dressing room, he glanced in the mirror, amused at the look on Castiel's face. "Quit staring at my ass!" he called over his shoulder, and Cas looked down in embarrassment, cheeks reddening. He tried to ignore the bulge in his pants. 

* * *

Dean and Cas arrived home late, having gone out to dinner after shopping. Dean made his way to the couch and groaned as he sat down. "Man, I don't remember the last time I went shopping. Shit's exhausting." Castiel sat down next to him, and Dean swung his legs to rest on Cas' lap. 

"Well, you did good. I'm gonna make you wear nice clothes more often." Cas smiled and looked at Dean, who was back in his regular attire. 

"Hey, when is the wedding, anyway?" In all the commotion, Dean realized he knew almost nothing about the event he was attending with Castiel, save for the fact that his brother was the groom. 

"It's in three days already. I would have known about it sooner, but..." Castiel's voice trailed off, reminded of why he hadn't been informed earlier. "Uh, so my brother, Michael, is marrying a girl named Anna. They've been together for like, almost ten years, I think. High school sweethearts."

Dean nodded, taking in the information. "Anything important I should know before I meet your family?" 

"Nothing really, Michael's nice. Quiet, but a really good listener and stuff. Gabe...well, Gabe can be a little shit sometimes. Most of the time, actually. I spent my entire life getting pranked by him. It's harmless, but just be prepared for it. My parents, god I don't even know what to tell you about my parents. I don't even know if they'll talk to me when I'm there." Sadness laced Castiel's voice, and Dean moved to grab his hand. 

"Well, I think it'll be a great time." Dean smiled, and Cas returned.  _It'll be ok,_ he thought.

But he knew it wouldn't be.

* * *

Dean drove them to the wedding. He wore the outfit he and Cas had bought only a few days before, and Cas wore a dark blue dress shirt and black pants. Dean noticed that the shirt brought out Cas' endlessly blue eyes.

As they drove up to the church, Castiel's hands began to sweat. He had been nervous, but not nearly as much as he was now that it was actually happening. Dean put his hand on the man's shoulder and rubbed his thumb gently over the fabric. "You gonna be ok?" Cas nodded quickly in response. "Alright, let's do this, then."

Dean and Cas walked up to the building together, and found their places in the pew. The mass was brief, Michael and Anna had exchanged personal vows, both of them tearing up. Dean's hand was on Castiel's knee through the duration of the service.

After Michael had kissed the bride and the new couple had walked happily up the aisle, people began to move to the gathering space where the reception was going to be held. "Ready?" Dean looked into Cas' eyes to look for a response. All he saw was fear. Dean held out his hand and Castiel grabbed it, holding tight. They walked to the space, gaining looks from more than a few family members. 

Cas walked up to Michael, smiling softly at the sight of his brother for the first time in years. "Castiel," a smile spread over Michael's face, and he moved to embrace his brother. Cas returned the hug, exhaling in relief. 

"Michael, I'm so glad to see you. Congratulations, you guys are amazing together." Anna looked to Castiel and smiled, rubbing his arm in thanks. Gabriel walked up behind Michael and patted him roughly on the back. "Hey, little bro, can't believe you bagged a girl like that. What a babe. " Anna blushed softly, giggling as she looked down. "Ah, Gabe, always the charmer," Michael replied easily. Gabriel suddenly noticed Castiel's presence and moved over to him, punching his arm. "Cassy! What the hell are you doing here? I haven't seen you in forever!" Gabriel suddenly looked over to Dean, then back to Cas. "And this is..."

Castiel was suddenly reminded of Dean's presence, not knowing how to introduce him. "Oh, right, um, this is Dean. Dean, this is Gabe." 

Dean reached over and shook Gabriel's hand. "Nice to meet you, Gabe. You too, Michael, and hey, congrats." Dean smiled awkwardly at the men, not really sure of what else to say.

"Well hey, you two enjoy yourself tonight. And hey," Gabriel lowered his voice, moving closer to Castiel, "mom's pissed. Might wanna avoid that whole deal." He hugged Castiel roughly, and walked away.

Cas let out a breath, moving closer to Dean. "Well, that at least went better than I thought. Let's go get a drink." Dean gladly followed Cas over to the bar, ordering two beers. The men spent the rest of the night talking to more of Cas' family members, with many uncomfortable stares and introductions. The fact that neither of them knew what to call each other made it hard to introduce Dean. 

"So who is this?" asked one of Cas' cousins. After Cas had supplied her with Dean's name, she looked back at him hesitantly. "No, but, _who_ is this?" Castiel understood the inflection in her voice. "He's um, a friend." He had felt Dean stiffen next to him after the words had left his mouth. What was he supposed to say, his boyfriend? He had no idea what they were. 

After a few more hours of mingling, Cas told Dean he was ready to go home. He didn't want to stay longer and risk running into his parents. Dean understood and they said goodbye to Michael and Gabriel. "Keep in touch, kid," Gabe said to Cas as they were leaving. Cas nodded and smiled in response, glad for his brothers' welcoming reactions to Castiel's return.

As they got into the impala, Castiel had a smile on his face. "So, good night?" Dean said, looking over to Cas. "Yeah," the man responded, returning Dean's gaze. "Thank you so much for coming with me. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you." It was true. Cas wouldn't have even called Michael if it weren't for Dean.

"Anytime." As Dean drove off, Cas rested his head on the window, tired from the party. Dean tapped his fingers along to the radio, watching the road. He couldn't help but think about the fact that Castiel had introduced his as his friend.

He and Cas would need to sort that out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Once again, sorry for the delay on the update. I really have to be in the right mood to write, and it doesn't always happen when I want it to. I will be starting school on Wednesday, so it might take me longer than usual to update, but again I'll try to be as quick as possible.
> 
> Black Woods is a real restaurant in Duluth, so if you ever want to go there, it's very good :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean sat on the bed in Sam's dorm room next to Jo, Sam's girlfriend. She was a loud mouth, and very opinionated, but Dean loved her to bits. He was mindlessly picking at his fingernails when Sam spoke. 

"So how's Cas?" Dean hadn't outrightly told Sam that he spent most of his time with Cas, but judging by the fact that he'd barely seen Dean during the past month, he figured he was with the man. Jo perked up immediately at the name. 

"Cas? Who's that? Is she cute? Does she go here? When do I get to meet her?" Dean rolled his eyes at Jo's enthusiasm. She'd been that way since they were kids. 

"One question at a time, Jo, jesus christ," Jo punched Dean in the arm. It may have meant to have been playful, but it had hurt nonetheless. "Fuck! Jo, I swear to god, I told you enough with the hitting!" Dean gingerly rubbed the spot where she'd hit, wincing at the pain.

"Oh, hush. Who is Cas?" She looked between Dean and Sam, willing someone to answer her. 

Sam looked at Dean, and he shrugged slightly. "We're uh, we kinda have a thing. And Cas is a he. He's a guy." Jo's eyes widened at the words. She laughed, looking at Sam, who did nothing in response. 

"A guy? You, Dean Winchester, with a guy. Well now I just find that hard to believe." Dean shot her a look, not quite knowing what to say. 

"Yeah, well, it's true. So believe it." Sam walked over to Dean and offered him a beer. Dean gladly accepted. 

"So how did you meet this Cas? I really do want to meet him, by the way." Jo looked at Dean, more sincerity in her voice this time.

"I haven't even met him yet. All I know is that Dean is like, totally head over heels for this guy. They met at a-" 

"That's enough, Sammy, thank you!" Sam chuckled at Dean's anger, clearly embarrassed by the fact that the men had met at a nude sketch class. "We met at a drawing class. I modeled for them. That was it. Anyway, I am not 'head over heels' for Cas," Dean said, using air quotes around Sam's phrase, "I just happen to like him a lot."

"Well I never," Jo said loudly, "Dean Winchester has finally settled down! I just can't believe that." Sam smiled, clearly happy that Dean finally found someone he really cared about. 

"Jo Harvelle, you stop it with your romantic crap or so help me," Dean took a long swig of his beer. God he hated her sometimes.

* * *

Cas walked into the bedroom where he found Dean splayed out across the bed. He giggled at the sight and sat down next to him. "You good there, pal?" Cas shook Dean's arm, not knowing if he was awake. Dean grunted in response and rolled onto his side. 

"Man, I had class from eight in the morning until three, and then I worked from three until eleven. I am fucking beat." He put his head in Cas' lap, breathing out heavily. Cas stroked Dean's hair, admiring the man's impossibly long eyelashes. 

"Well, do you want to go to bed?" Cas asked simply, but Dean's eyes opened suddenly at the words. In all the time they'd spent together over the past month, they hadn't slept in the same bed. They'd always just ended up on the floor or the couch. 

"You mean, like, you and me, in the bed? Together?" Dean looked up at Cas, Cas' eyes softening as their gaze met. 

"Yes. That is what I mean," Cas laughed, setting down his mug of tea on the bedside table. 

"Yeah, ok, sure," a smile spread over Dean's face, practically jumping off the bed to strip down to his boxers. He got back in, under the covers this time, and patted the space next to him, telling Cas to join him.

Castiel smiled in return, exchanging his jeans for pajama bottoms and taking off his shirt. He crawled under the blankets next to Dean, back flush with Dean's warm chest. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waist, pulling him closer. Their legs seamlessly tangled with each other's. Castiel felt Dean's steady breath on the back of his neck, and closed his eyes. They laid like this for about 10 minutes before Dean spoke. 

"Cas," he said, his voice heavy with sleep, "will you be my boyfriend?" Cas opened his eyes, turning around to face Dean. Dean stared back at the man, waiting for an answer. Castiel grabbed Dean's face with both of his hands, moving in to place a soft kiss on his nose. 

"Of course I will be," he said softly. Dean grinned, and rolled over so he was sitting over Cas, straddling his waist. He lowered his head so that his mouth was next to Castiel's ear. 

"Thank you," he whispered. He shifted slightly and kissed Cas passionately, licking at the man's lower lip. Castiel sighed into the kiss, hands moving over Dean's back, pushing the man's body closer into his own. He gasped and opened his eyes when Dean suddenly pulled away, longing for the contact. "Goodnight, Cas," Dean said quietly as he kissed Cas once more, softly this time. He climbed off of the man and returned back to their original position. 

It was 12:34.

* * *

"Good morning, Castiel," Dean walked into the kitchen and over to where Cas was standing, grabbing his ass playfully. Cas giggled, turning around to smack Dean in the arm. 

"Hey! Don't make me mess up the pancakes!" Dean looked over Cas' shoulders and saw four pancakes cooking in the skillet, all in the shape of Micky Mouse. What a fucking dork.

"Really, Cas? Micky Mouse? Is this some repressed childhood memory thing?" Castiel shot Dean his best bitchface, trying to hold back a smile. 

"Shut up. This is how I always ate them as a kid. I can always just eat them myself." Cas had a smirk on his face, knowing very well how hungry Dean got in the mornings. 

"Alright, alright. I'll eat the damn pancakes," Dean looked at Cas, leaning in to briefly kiss him on the cheek, "thank you."

"You're welcome. Now eat up, we both have class this morning." Castiel poured himself and Dean each a cup of coffee, adding a heaping tablespoon of sugar to Dean's. He did have a sweet tooth.

* * *

Castiel was in his Art History class when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He quietly took it out to read the text on the screen.

**Dean: dinner tonight. be ready by 7:30. wear somethin nice ;)**

Cas laughed lightly at the text and replaced his phone in his pocket, returning to his notes. What did Dean have planned?

* * *

Dean showed up at Castiel's door at 7:25. Per Dean's request, Cas had made an effort to look nice. He'd found a pair of fitted khakis and a light blue button-up shirt. Dean scanned him and let out a low whistle. "Damn, Cas, you look hot," Dean bit his bottom lip, suddenly aroused by the sight of his boyfriend. A blush crept up Castiel's neck.

"So, where are we going?" Dean smirked and took Castiel's hand, interlocking their fingers. 

"That, my dear Castiel, is a surprise," Dean kissed Cas on the cheek, leading him through the door. Cas was grinning from ear to ear, relishing these moments with Dean. He couldn't believe this man was his. 

* * *

Dean parked the Impala outside of a restaurant called Black Woods. The men walked into the building hand in hand, Dean rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of Cas' fingers. They were seated in a booth, and both ordered a beer. As they talked about their days, laughing at stories of how one of the models in Cas' sketch class had tripped while getting up onto the pedestal, naked, a girl about their age began to walk over to their booth. 

"Dean?" she said, noticing the men's interlocking fingers and making a face, "what are you doing here?" Dean pulled his hand away from Cas' suddenly, hiding it under the table, trying to act as if it hadn't been held by Cas only moments before. 

"Bela, hey," Dean smiled uncomfortably, avoiding Castiel's confused gaze, "just out to dinner with my friend, Cas, here. Cas, Bela, Bela, Cas," Dean gestured between the two, avoiding any grand introductions. "How've ya been?"

"Oh, great, actually I just got signed with a record label down in Minneapolis. It's small, but it's a start," Cas stared at the woman. She was tall, had long, light brown hair and green eyes, not too different from Dean's. Her british accent and graceful movements fueled a fire in the pit of Castiel's stomach. He hated her. 

"Hey, that's great, congrats! I knew you would make it. Why don't you join us? We can celebrate," Dean called over the waiter and ordered a bottle of champagne. Cas looked at him in disbelief. Wasn't this supposed to be their special date night? 

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose," Bela said, glancing quickly to Castiel before looking back at Dean. 

"Nah, it's really no trouble. Here, you can sit next to me," Dean scooted over, making room for Bela to sit down. He pointedly avoided Castiel's gaze.

Cas finally spoke up, vexation lacing his words, "No, actually, why don't you sit here, Bela? I think I'm going to go get some fresh air," he began to stand up, signaling to the booth for the woman to sit down.

"Thank you," she said, taking Castiel's spot on the bench. 

"Oh, it's no problem," Cas was terrible at hiding his feelings, his voice rich with sarcasm and anger. He looked over to Dean, narrowing his eyes, lips forming a tight smile. Dean looked back, not knowing how to react. 

Cas walked out of the building, tears burning at the back of his eyes. He immediately began making the 3 mile trek back to his apartment. He was about two blocks away when he began to cry. Why the fuck had Dean been so embarrassed of him? Why did he act as though they were only friends? Cas pulled his phone out of his pocket and began furiously typing message to Dean.

**Cas: Don't wait up for me.**

He stuffed his phone back where he had taken it from, not bothering to look when it buzzed in reply. 

* * *

Cas was sitting on the couch watching some crap TV show when Dean walked in the door. Cas whipped his head around, a slightly difficult task considering he'd had about 5 shots of vodka since the time he'd gotten home two hours ago. 

"Cas, why did you leave? And why didn't you answer my text?" Dean threw his keys on the counter, removing his coat and shoes. Castiel began to laugh. It was a cold, sardonic laugh that made Dean uneasy. "Are..are you ok Cas?" 

Castiel continued to laugh until there were tears in his eyes, occasionally pointing at Dean, as if having some inside joke with himself. Eventually his laughter subsided, and he spoke. 

"Am I ok? I'm  _great._ I'm fucking  _fantastic._ " He stood up, taking a moment to regain his balance, and looked at Dean, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. "Did you have a good night? How was Beellllaaaa?" he drew out the name, both to add emphasis and because of the alcohol slurring his speech. He placed a finger on Dean's nose, tapping it a few times. 

"Cas, listen, I didn't mean--" 

"You didn't mean what?" Cas interrupted him, mocking tone replaced with anger. "You didn't mean to, fuckin, call me your 'friend' and, and, act like I was no one? Like I didn't fuckin exist?" He had taken a step away from Dean, eyes glossy from tears and intoxication. Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. 

"Cas, I didn't mean it. I just, I freaked out, 'cause this is the first time any of my friends had seen me with, you know, a guy." He looked up, eyes meeting Cas. 

"Yeah, yeah, ok, I get it. You... you're ashamed of me, arntchya, Deano?" 

"No, Cas, I am not ashamed of you. I'm new to this whole thing. I'm really sorry for how I reacted, I shouldn't have done that," he moved closer to Cas, moving his hand to cup the man's cheek, "can you please forgive me?" Dean began mouthing at the skin of Castiel's neck, running his tongue up to his jaw. Cas rolled his eyes, letting out an annoyed breath. 

"You think you can just kiss me and everythin'll be better?" Dean chuckled softly, sucking hickeys into Cas' collar bone.

"No, but it's a start," Dean's eyes darkened with arousal, putting his hands underneath Cas' shirt to feel the hot skin beneath it. He kissed Castiel, licking the man's bottom lip, seeking entrance. 

"'M drunk."

"And I'm Dean. Let's go to the bedroom, shall we?" he picked up Castiel so that he was giving him a piggy back ride, not sure if Cas would be able to make it down the hallway without falling. 

"That was such a dad joke," Cas said into Dean's neck. Dean laughed, sitting Cas down on the bed. Cas flopped onto his back, looking up at Dean, licking his lips. He reached up and grabbed Dean's collar, pulling him down so that his mouth was next to Dean's ear. "Are you gonna fuck me?" he whispered, bucking his hips up to grind his erection on Dean's leg.

"Not tonight, baby. I want you to be fully sober for that," Dean whispered back. And he meant it. He wanted Cas to be able to appreciate and remember everything from their first time together. He furrowed his brow at the thought. He'd never thought like that, always been one for drunken one night stands. But Cas was different. Cas was special, and Cas was  _his._

He unzipped Cas' pants, pulling them down to his knees, along with his briefs. Cas was already half hard, and Dean took him in his hand. Cas gasped at the sudden contact, fisting the sheets at his side. After a few strokes, Dean moved down to take Cas in his mouth. He realized that this was the first time he had ever given a blow job.

Castiel was a mess underneath Dean, fucking into Dean's mouth in erratic movements, panting as he came closer to being pushed over the edge. Dean put his hand around Castiel's dick where his mouth didn't reach, stroking in tandem with the bobs of his head. 

"Dean, Dean I'm gonna cum," Cas said between pants, throwing his head back at the sheer pleasure of having Dean's mouth around him. He lost it when Dean looked up at him underneath those eyelashes. He groaned as he came into Dean's mouth, who choked, but swallowed as much of the load as he could. 

"I'm sorry," Dean said, embarrassed by the fact that he hadn't been able to swallow all of Castiel's cum. 

"Come here," Cas slurred, pulling Dean onto the bed with him, wrapping his arms around Dean's back. 

"I'm sorry," Dean said again, but this time apologizing for the events of that night, apologizing for Bela, for all of it.

"I know," Cas said sleepily, his eyes closed. 

They fell asleep, Dean in Cas' arms, head rested in the crook of Cas' neck. It hadn't fixed things, not completely.

But it was a start. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so I really underestimated how little time I would have to write during the school year. I am so sorry for how long this took. It's a relatively short chapter, but it's more of an..interlude to what's going to come, I guess you could say. It may seem like it ends abruptly, but just bear with me. 
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy, and again, really sorry for how long this took!

"What the hell is this?" Dean gestured to the green mix in the blender, wrinkling his nose at the sight. 

 

"It's a wheat grass smoothie. It's good for you," a hint of playfulness was in Castiel's voice, smirking at the disgust on Dean's face. Getting this man to eat healthy was like pulling teeth. 

 

"I specifically said, no more hippy-dippy health food crap, did I not?" Dean moved to dump the mixture into the sink, but Cas grabbed his arm before he was able to.

 

"All I agreed to was to stop shopping at Whole Foods. Nothing more," Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes at the Cas' loophole. 

 

"Alright, so where's this 'wheat grass' from? And why the fuck would anyone want to eat grass in the first place? I'm not a damn cow."

 

"Farmer's market down the street. Taste it," Castiel shoved a spoonful of the smoothie into Dean's face. Dean quickly ducked to avoid it, grabbing Cas by the wrists and pushing him up against the fridge, placing a rough kiss on the man's lips. Castiel let out a sigh, pushing his tongue into Dean's mouth. Dean dropped his hands down to Cas' hips, pulling the man closer into his body. Castiel's hands moved to Dean's hair, tugging slightly. 

 

“I can’t,” Cas giggled, pulling away from Dean, “I have a lecture in ten minutes.”

 

“Do you have to?” Dean whined, putting on his best puppy face, “you could always play hooky and stay here with me. Watch movies, make out, you know.”

 

“Unfortunately I can’t miss this one. Four hours on nothing but the history of Cubism. Riveting.” Castiel placed a soft kiss on the tip of Dean’s nose, beginning to walk towards the door, “I’ll be home at 5.”

 

“Promise?” Dean joked, biting at his bottom lip.

 

“Promise,” Cas said with a wink, and walked out of the door.

 

* * *

It was 7:43 and Cas wasn’t home. Dean wasn’t a worrier, he never had been. He’d grown up with his father being gone for days, hell, weeks at a time. But this was Cas. Cas was always on time, if not early. He wasn’t answering his phone and Dean was starting to panic. It wasn’t until 3 hours later when he got the call. 

“Dean Winchester?” the monotonous voice droned into the phone.

 

“Yes? Who is this?” Dean was sure the worry was evident in his voice, even through the phone. Who was this person? Why would they call so late? Where the fuck was Cas?

 

“Hello, this is Dr. Randall from St. Mary’s Medical Center. We didn’t know who else to call.”

 

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

 

“This is regarding Castiel Novak. I think it would be best if you would come down here.”

 

“Please, just tell me what’s happening,” Dean was near tears. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Cas was in the hospital, and he had no idea why.

 

“It really would be better if you came to the hospital, we will inform you of the situation when you arrive.” the phone went dead.

 

Dean grabbed his coat and ran down the stairs of the apartment building, taking two at a time. He went 15 miles over the speed limit all the way, just barely stopping for the occasional pedestrian and traffic light. When he arrived, he immediately asked for Cas’ room. When he found it, he saw the doctor waiting outside.  

 

“Dean, I presume?” the doctor barely made an effort to look over his glasses, flipping through his note pad. 

 

“Yes, you _presume_ correctly. Now may you please explain to me what the fuck is going on?” Dean had had enough of this doctor and he’d only just met him. 

 

“Castiel was admitted because he collapsed earlier this morning. A student saw him and called 911. We ran tests, administered a CT and MRI scan and have found that he has a Grade IV brain tumor. We expect he has six months to live”

 

Dean’s eyes widened. It felt like the wind had just been knocked out of him. This couldn’t be true. Cas had been in the kitchen with him just that morning, smiling and happy and _okay_. 

 

“No. There must be a mistake. Cas is fine. There’s no way he can have…” he couldn’t quite get the word to form in his mouth.

 

_Cancer_.

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. This cancer is highly aggressive, along with inoperable. In other cases, we’re able to treat with Radiation and chemotherapy. However, in Castiel’s case, it’s located in a place where even if the treatments were at all effective, there is no way we could remove it. At this point, we think it would be best for him to go home, travel, do the things he wishes to do. There’s no point keeping him here if we can’t help him in any way. In terms of symptoms, he will most likely have headaches, and memory loss is common. They could also include nausea, drowsiness, loss of sight, etcetera.”

 

The doctor was talking. Dean saw his lips moving, but none of the words were reaching him. All he could think about was Cas. Cancer. Cas had cancer. Cas had six months to live.

 

Six months. 

 

Dean ran for the closest garbage can he could find and vomited. Suddenly he remembered all the headaches Cas had, simply brushed off and blamed on too much reading. He remembered all the times Cas called to ask what groceries they needed because he completely forgot, how many plants he’d killed for forgetting to water them…

 

Cas was going to die. And there was nothing Dean could do about it.

 

* * *

He didn’t know when he’d started crying. At some point he’d found his way to a chair. They informed him that he would be able to visit Cas in a few hours, after they ran a few more tests.

 

Two hours felt like two days. Dean was getting impatient. He only had six months left with Cas, and he was going to spend every minute of it with him. When the nurse finally told him he could go to Cas’ room, he ran. When he got to the door, he was short of breath. 

 

Cas was awake, sitting up slightly in the adjustable hospital bed, IVs and machines hooked up to practically every part of his body. The sight made Dean start to cry again.

 

“Hey, Dean,” Cas gestured his hand in what must have been an attempt at a wave. 

 

“C-Cas..” Dean’s breath hitched in his throat. He began walk towards Castiel’s bed, and sat down on the edge, taking Cas’ hand in his own. “how’re you- how’re you doing?” 

 

Dean could see the dried tears on Cas’ cheek. He squeezed his hand harder and closed his eyes, willing the tears to stop.

 

“I’m, not great,” Cas replied honestly, looking down at Dean’s hand.

 

“You know I’ll be there the whole time. I’ll be with you the whole time.”

 

“I know you will be, Dean.” 

 

“It’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.”

 

“Dean, I’m—“ 

 

“No,” Dean cut him off, shaking his head, “no. Please.”

 

“Ok.”

 

Dean lay down beside Cas, resting his head in the crook of Cas’ neck. Cas eventually fell asleep, and Dean closed his eyes, the machines beside them beeping steadily. 

 

_ It’ll be fine. _

 


End file.
